do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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