My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
