You're my little dorito
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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