you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
