I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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