; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I CAN MOONWALK!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
