Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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