At least make sure they are 18
Why
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
