The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
