You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
