I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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