im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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