they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
