Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
