I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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