'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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