Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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