She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
