So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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