Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
