don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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