I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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