and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
