I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
