Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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