i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
