hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
