Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
