Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize