Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
