he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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