Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
