Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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