at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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