I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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