We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
