You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
What happened to fro yo and sex?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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