She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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