Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
