New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
