I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize