why didn't you poke me back
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
