I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
