she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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