You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize