Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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