here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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