It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
