If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
