I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I have aggressive nipples.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
