you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
