The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize