Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
