Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
