I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
