I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He keeps bees of course he's weird
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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