You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
