I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
