Kiss
Puke
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
