I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
