I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
