This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i barfeds in our rink
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
