But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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