why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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