i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
