i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
