THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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