he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
