I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
