OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
