i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
