I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
